Susan Jacobi's new book

Jacobi is fed up with how stupid we Americans are. I can't say I disagree. I personally feel dumber every day. I've actually started doing crossword puzzles at night and listening to Beethoven in the car to get my brain back on some kind of gray matter exercise schedule. I don't ever want to be an inspiration for such a book the way these 2 guys were:

"[On 9/11] walking home to her Upper East Side apartment, [Jacobi] said, overwhelmed and confused, she stopped at a bar. As she sipped her bloody mary, she quietly listened to two men, neatly dressed in suits. For a second she thought they were going to compare that day’s horrifying attack to the Japanese bombing in 1941 that blew America into World War II:

“This is just like Pearl Harbor,” one of the men said. The other asked, “What is Pearl Harbor?” “That was when the Vietnamese dropped bombs in a harbor, and it started the Vietnam War,” the first man replied.

At that moment, Ms. Jacoby said, “I decided to write this book.” "

Wow. I don't know what to say except that I can't say I didn't see this coming. We have an idiot for a president who was elected because people thought he'd be cool to have a beer with even though he's a recovering alcoholic. (Don't forget the man has stated shamelessly that in addition to not drinking he does not read newspapers.) We don't teach kids how to think in school anymore, only how to pass standardized tests. (Gee, thanks, No Child Left Behind...) We all watch TV and surf the internet when we're not cut off from community listening to our iPods sucking down coffee and applying our makeup in the car.

Look -- I'm certainly not saying that I'm smarter or better than everyone else; however, I do like to think I could pass a high school-level geography exam or discuss recent history in a way that shows I have a grasp on major world events. I'm not the only person who likes to have what i want when I want it. (Usually right now.) However, I also know that nothing comes easy, nothing is free.

It's hard to remember that when 400,000 results arrive in a split second for my google search or my dinner is ready in 2 minutes thanks to the microwave. I no longer have to write checks or find a pay-phone or go to the physical bookstore or handwrite letters to friends. I can do things so quickly now that it's a wonder anything ever got done before the 21st century.

My point, and I do have one, is that appreciation for hard work is nil these days. You have to be bigger, better, stronger or the world will run you over. Of course you have to work your ass off to score such a life or just rack up enough credit card debt to sustain a 3rd-world country. At the same time you are spoon-fed celebrity gossip, government propaganda, and fear-factor style "nightly news" that fills the remainder of your attention span which sucks that stuff up like a sponge. You're so stressed out from keeping up with the goddamned Joneses that you actually welcome such bullshit.

Why? Because it's easy. It's now the norm to let others do your thinking for you. Don't know where Iran is? Who cares! Don't know who the president of Mexico is? Why bother? Can't do simple multiplication? No worries! Someone or something will do it for you. Just rest your pretty head, have a coke, worry about how Britney's doing, and put a 'Mericun flag on the front of your house. Jesus will be back soon and you can nap for eternity on a dainty white cloud.

Is your Asshole Green?

If so, you gotta call him or her on it.

I admit to watching some of the "Live Earth" concert on Saturday. Of course, I watched it on my electricity-guzzling television while sitting under a lamp that did not sport a compact fluorescent bulb. (Gasp!)

Did I feel guilty? Not enough to buy a $25 pencil set.

Ironic? Maybe just a little. (Um, NBC, the network that broadcast the concerts is owned by GE, a not-so-environmentally friendly company.)

I always have to laugh when I see celebrities, especially musicians, telling me to "go green" or "save the planet" or whatever while they sip their $300.00 martinis in the comfort of their million-dollar homes. Politicians are worse. Fuck you, Al Gore. I know people love you and your movie. Recycling is great. Driving a hybrid is great. Your hypocrisy? Not so great. I don't have anything against Gore personally, but the man owns tons of stock in oil and he likes to leave the lights on. All the lights.

Anyhoo, I'm really ranting because now that "green" is hip, it's become a consumerist nightmare. Really, are people so dumb that they need designer grocery bags? Wait, don't answer that.

Being green is actually pretty simple. Recycle what you can, don't buy products with a lot of packaging, don't drive when you can walk, don't leave the lights/tv/radio/computer on when you're not using them. Don't take 30 minute showers. Use a push lawnmower, not a gas or electric-powered one. Buy used furniture. Etc... See? No mass amounts of money required. No souls sold.

Now if only the Administration would do their part... I'm not holding my breath.

Dammit.

Bleh's husband got tenure.

Holy sh*t

I was out enjoying dinner with friends Wednesday night, so I did not watch this week's episode of America's Next Top Model. Come to find out (via Feministing) that this week's challenge was for the contestants to be "beautiful corpses" via a "CSI"-style photoshoot.

To echo many of the comments made on Feministing, WTF, Tyra?!

An open statement to Tyra Banks:

Trya, I know you're a ditzy but fun-loving showbiz-crazed gal, but for god's sake, what is wrong with you? It's one thing to herd this gaggle of naive model-wannabes through the hoops of your show; but to glorify violence against women is completely sick and utterly reprehensible.

I've watched all 7 "cycles" of your show, but will watch no more. That's it, it's over. I put up with your and the other judges' comments about the "fat" size 8 girls, comments about the ethnic attributes of some of the girls (see our banner), and the objectification of your willing contestants, all in the name of entertaining television; however, when you have 19- and 20-year old young women painted with bruises and fake blood, their eyes rolled back in their heads and their legs splayed, all in the name of selling fashion, you're sending a very powerful message about the disposability of not only the contestants, but women in general, to viewers.

I get it that the girls are competing (hence, the "knifed by a model" etc themes of the shoot). But I have to say murder is not sexy. Never has been, never will be. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Sincerely,

Tiny Robot

So what do the ladies get?

When nutso suicide bombers of the Muslim persuasion die in the course of violently offing their enemies and innocent bystanders alike, it is well known that said crazies believe they get to go to heaven and frolic with 72 virgins since they martyred themselves for the faith.

So what do female suicide bombers get? A harem of hot guys to fool around with for eternity? Nope. They get to be the boss of the 72 virgins their former husbands in life will be shagging. Huh?!

And people wonder why I have such a hard time giving credit to religion's (any religion's) afterlife stories. What a load of cracked-out crap!

Oh! The Childrenz...

I sometimes wonder if my not having children has made me an 'outcast' in some circles. Luckily, my personal circle of friends neither contains any parents, nor cares that they have not reproduced. However, at work I am the only one of my colleagues who does not have children, and sometimes I either A) get left out of whole conversations, or B) don't get the same 'privileges' my colleagues do (staying home w/ sick kids, bringing kids to the office during work hours, leaving early to pick kids up from ballet/football/violin, soliciting for cookies or candy or band trips, etc).

Now I certainly don't mean to imply that I'd push out a kid simply to have a reason to chitchat at work or stay home [with a flu-ridden rugrat]. Oh contraire! But I do disdain the dichotomy between parents and nonparents. In an era where celebrity pregnancies are frontpage news and every f*ckin' place from the local restaurant or bookstore to Dirty Jim's Saloon* has to be "family-friendly," kids and their influence are everywhere. Is it wrong that I don't have kids and I want a break from all the people that do?!

What really bothers me is all these uber-pampered babies are growing up to be uber-pampered adults who only want to be rich and lazy. All these parents who are bff with their kids make me sick. My parents weren't my best friends when I was a kid; hell, they weren't even my friends! But that's the point --- they weren't supposed to be my friend, they were supposed to be my parent.

Woo! I don't know what inspired this particular rant this morning. Perhaps it was Cloying Girl's bragging about her daughter getting into some dance class or something.

CG: OMG! [Daughter] got into the highest level class! Oh! [Insert unspoken line here --- What did your daughter do lately? Oh wait, you don't have one.]

Me: Yeah, that's so great. I'm. So. Happy. For. You...

Eh, what can you do? I don't know. Not all kids or parents are bad. I know this...

I need some coffee.

*I totally made that name up, but doesn't it sound like a great dive bar?