From the "Why, God? Why?" Department

American Idol trading cards. Sheesh.

You can thank Booklahver for alerting me to these

Apparently it's trendy to get very unique bridal portraits done these days (see Jesus pose, left).

But did you know brides can also get themselves, their gown, and their cellulite photographed for their husbands-to-be (and the viewing public it seems). Oh, and yes, that link is NSFW. They're called "bridal boudoir" shots -- and they give me the heebeegeebees.

Vulva Wear!

Does your vulva suffer season affective disorder due to the fact that it doesn't get enough sunlight? Well, then wear it on your head! Or tote it as a bag! Or get one that looks like a taco! If anything, you could put it on your truck's bumper...

"Smart"

Hey moms! Now baby can chew on your necklace or key chain! Everyone wants a stylish chew toy hanging around their necks! And who wouldn't enjoy baby slobber dripping down your cleavage?! In circle and heart shapes! Yay! Teething Bling!

What. The. Fuck?