Thursday, July 27, 2006

Commuting is Fun

There are times I wish I had a hood-mounted megaphone. There are a few things I would say to my fellow drivers.

Lady in the tan minivan: seriously, please hang up your phone. The weaving between lanes might be cute on a Friday night, but let's leave the loopy driving at home on Wednesday morning.

Asshole in the H3 in the far left lane: Hi. This lane is for passing. I'm sorry you got conned into spending a ridiculous amount of money on an egregious gas-guzzler, but get your slow ass out of the left lane!

Jerk in the Retirement Castle on Wheels: stop speeding up when I try to pass you. I don't care if you're heading to Sun Valley. It's been a long day and I just want to go home, I don't want to be stuck behind your frickin glorified camper towing a bug-encrusted Saturn with the W sticker on the bumper.

'88 Pontiac Grand Am chick with the 'PRNCESS1' license plate: of course you are. Keep on truckin'.

1 comment:

f is for Fer; he failed to floss said...

Yes! Hood-mounted megaphones for all. Just like in THE BLUES BROTHERS: "You on the motorcycle... you two girls... tell your friends..."

Unlike cell phones and IM, this is a form of communication appropriate to perform while driving. I'd gladly trade GPS and the cup holder(s) to make megaphones a standard feature. There are several things I've been waiting to tell Memphis drivers, too. I'll call Mayor Herenton's office at once and we'll get this done.