Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret.
What ever happened to Jesus in America?
I read this editorial today and began to think. When you're a little kid, you're taught Jesus is your pal, someone who loves you, no matter what. He's someone who died a pretty gruesome death so that your soul wouldn't be trapped in some hell dimension after you die as long as you behaved while you were alive. Pretty amazing stuff.
But as you get older, you start to see the glaring hypocricy of some religious authority figures and institutions. Jerry Falwell (crazy, greedy, beady-eyed), Cardinal Bernard Law (quietly moved pedophiles from parish to parish) and Pat Robertson (crazy, greedy, pro-assassination) are a few prominent examples of people who use Jesus to become very rich and/or politically powerful. You also start to notice how actual politicians use Jesus as a means to an end. George W. Bush (crazy "saved" war-monger) says he talks to God all the time. (It's become painfully obvious W doesn't listen, though.)
So why is it so hard for me to have faith in a guy like Jesus? A guy who made friends with tax collectors, criminals and prostitutes because they were his fellow human beings and he loved & cared for them, not because he thought he could get them to make a donation to his tax-sheltered organization after "saving" them on tv.
Perhaps it's too hard? Perhaps it's because I'm not a little kid anymore? Little kids find it easy to have faith --- they believe in Santa Claus, the Toothfairy, and the Easter Bunny --- no questions asked. Jesus? Sure -- he's a friend...you get presents on his birthday! Nice. Once childhood innocence and naivete melt away as you emerge into adulthood, and all you see is Jesus being used as a tool for personal selfish gain by the powers around you, it's very hard to have faith. It's like they've secretly replaced loving tolerant Jesus with a Big Brother-like scary Jesus. A dictator of social behavior, so to speak.
Maybe I'm just weak. Maybe I'm too tired to fight against the societal tide of the "Dictator Jesus", the Jesus that doesn't love you no matter what; that only loves you if you are on a particular side of various social issues or see the world in black and white as espoused by various "leaders". Maybe all the shades of gray are what are keeping me befuddled or the fact that all these "leaders" are people I have zero respect for since they abuse their power and stain the concept of Jesus' teachings (peace, love, tolerance, etc) in the process. It's as though the food supply has been tainted--I've lost my appetite.
I'm not saying Falwell or Dubya made me lose faith. I don't know what did. I just know people like them make it extra hard to get my faith back. Perhaps my problem is I like to think for myself -- I don't fancy someone or something (e.g., organized religion) telling me what to think or how to do things. I believe it's possible to be a moral person without being a religious person. Maybe that's the source of all my existential angst? Or maybe my existential angst is what's hampering my ability to have faith?
As usual I have many more questions than answers. Of course I've talked to Jesus about this. I just haven't heard back from him in a long time.
5 comments:
Well, you know, I have my own personal Jesus...we pretty much sit around a listen to Depeche Mode all the time.
And, generally, we get along. I think Jesus in his purest, least twisted, refrain-from-applying-at-will way was a great philosopher.
I'm not so sure that I buy the live your live "for him" thing...or do exactly as I say or you're screwed...and, in my opinion, I'm not really sure he was going for that either.
But, I think, just like many other things, if one takes his teachings as a general guideline, I actually think that it could help to open minds and soften life's pain.
But, gah...literal interpretation...taking his teachings and using them to persecute and hate...or to make money...or to manipulate people in
ANY way...is just soooo wrong.
If everybody spent as much time working on improving themselves and their attitudes...opening their own minds...as they did trying to change other people...well, I don't know...it's an unfathomable idea.
Ok. Enough from me. Jesus is requesting that we chill to some Jesus and Mary Chain now...that's his second favorite band.
I heard Jesus digs Queen quite a bit, too.
Acutally, I think about this topic quite often (how could I not here). I have never known what it means to "live for him," or to have him in my heart or to love him. I don't understand how I can love a being that I have never come into contact with. What I can believe in is the abstract God, the notion that there is something more powerful than man. However, this being does not guide shit. There is no plan, and that is what scares people to death. Mostly people who have been taught to believe that religion is the medium through which society becomes civilized. In that respect, Christianity had its chance from about 300-1400, it was called the dark ages.
(the other half of dm)
I say leave this Jesus stuff for a while until we can make sure that we don't kill each other physically or otherwise. It could be really great if we would all just back off for a while. Instead follow Jiminy Cricket's sage advice and "Let your conscience be your guide."
Call me an atheist, but I can sleep at night knowing I didn't spend my day making someone else feel wrong and worthless. I'd rather be comforted by karma than the son of god anyway. The more good we put out there......
Ah, you know me....always stewing in some sort of angst. I'm working on it, but I fear it's something I'll be working on for the rest of my days.
It'd just be nice if life wasn't so frickin complicated. I think that was one of Jesus' main points: to just chill out. Too bad some of his "followers" today are such uptight assholes, they make the world a miserable place for the rest of us. And don't even get me started on Allah...
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