The Cheese Stands Alone (or does it?)
Yours truly has just been informed by a highly-reputable source that RTG has a lady friend! Yes, a real live woman who dates him! Apparently, she was living in another state, hence her super-secret little-mentioned status by RTG*.
Now, however, RTGLF (Really Tall Gellar's Lady Friend) has scored employment in a city about an hour or so from here. Wow---we here at HN (well, actually, just me because BabyG doesn't give a good hotdamn about RTG) will keep our eyes peeled for any sign of what is surely a fascinating woman. I mean, what kind of woman is she? Does she like hearing about military history? Does she find it attractive when her man wears a tie on Saturday? When his voice cracks, does it turn her on?
*Come on, I never instigate conversation or ask him questions. That would illicit a response and, as we well know, those responses can last days!
16 comments:
you really need to stop talking about RTGLF. someone might think your jealous or something...
just saying.
Ok, not that you want to think about this, but I offer a mathematical dilemma.
RTG + RTGLF = ?
From all I know about RTG, I suspect the "Some people should not procreate" rule applies to him.
blech
mv
I agree with mv, I'm scared! And the whole "other state" thing is so "I'm a 6th grade nerd who says I have a girlfriend but I really don't, I just make it up to look cool." Current company excluded, of course. It makes me sad to think that the two of them will be in happiness while I suffer, suffer I say, alone in NC. At least I get visits.
~The Booklahver
UDPATE!
RTG is grumpy this morning! I wonder if he senses all the dislike you guys who don't even know him have for him...?
Prophet: you are sweetly naive. That's what I like about you. But me and RTG are like oil and water so no jealousy here.
MV: i don't wanna know the answer to that equation. I was never a big algebra fan anyway.
Booklahver: Yeah, I keep thinking of that scene in the Breakfast club were the little nerdy kid is trying to be cool by saying he's got a girlfriend in Canada and that stoner kid rags on him for it.
Yo ho ho! Mine eyes HAVE seen the gory/canoodling RTG! I thought I was hallucinating earlier this year, but it seems not. That said, well, I would invoke Joey Lawrence yet again: whoa. I never asked to be correct; if this be the price of validation, it's too rich for me.
In a barely related tangent, BREAKFAST CLUB Brian also said he owned a fake ID (which he did indeed have, unlike the more dubious Canadian honey) in order to vote. Bender didn't have much to say about that - how could he? I wonder how many 15-year-olds voters turned the tide in yesterday's state Senate primary here in Memphis...?
We had a state Senate primary yesteray? Where was I?
Oh yeah, gossiping.
Tiny Robot: poor excuse for a citizen. Even poorer excuse for a robot.
Bidness as usual: machine politics run best when keeping voters AWAY from the polls on Election Days/Daze... unless of course it's THEIR voters, and then you know how they do.
That you had no idea means the mission was a success in many, many ways. Or that you weren't in the state Senate district. Either way, don't wear the electoral hair shirt; I believe it's in the TN constitution that at least one Ford must be in state government at all times. Way to avoid a constitutional crisis, District 29! A grateful state rests easy tonight.
Oh, right, we were talking about RTG...?
Well, his grumpiness has abated. How do I know? I smiled at him a while ago and he launched into, "Hey [Tiny Robot], how you doin' today? You doin' alright?"
I said, "I'm fine, thanks," then dove into my office.
Vaya con dios, good buddy...
Okay, back to the alegbra thing, since some of your gentle readers are math nerds. Gotta keep alegbra real, according to a T-shirt given to me by Baby G.
Remember the FOIL method?
First Inner Outer Last.
Perhaps you and the folks at work can impose the FOIL method on RTG. All you need is four people. Here are the roles:
Person 1: Kick RTG in the Front. (face, I'd imagine)
Person 2: Inner (groin, maybe?)
Person 3: Outer. His butt. If he has one.
Person 4: Last. This would be the Wild Card. Since this person has to wait until last to join the fun, this player can do whatever they want.
God bless you! Oh wait, you didn't sneeze.
Damn! Remind me not to get on your bad side, o ye math & science diploma bearer. I fear I would end up like Donald Duck in Donald Duck in Math Magicland.
What? We watched in jr high...
hehehehehehe *peter griffin laugh*
remember the sqaure roots?
I can't spell.
that's a very industrious use of the FOIL method, my fellow MS^2 nerd colleague. i am so proud of you. baby guanacos [heart] creative algebra.
I have to admit this outpouring of hate is kinda touching. I don't think we've had over 10 comments on any one post on HN thus far. I managed 11 on a post on my old blog, but never 14. So, thank you, Gentle Readers!
i always assumed that rtg was devoid of any sex organs. isn't that the way the darwin theory works? : )
s
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